


Resonance

by Ghost_Kaiju



Series: Requests and Gifts [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Dissociation, Gen, discussion of religion/spirituality, faith - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 05:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13207071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Kaiju/pseuds/Ghost_Kaiju
Summary: Unfocused and exhausted, a rare moment of rest brings a few words about Faith.





	Resonance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kecchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kecchan/gifts).



Walking side-by-side but mentally miles away, they were pressing on towards Konohagakure. The Two-Tails’ extraction had taken a lot out of them in terms of both chakra and mental focus; any conversation was as dull and bare-bones as the scenery. Each step slow and heavy with dust kicked up in the air.

Pein’s explanation of the Akatsuki’s end-goal and their current mission had planted something in the back of their minds. Like seeds of sabotage and ticking time-bombs.

Hidan, with a scattered focus, found it strange that they were sent after the Nine-Tails when it had been established as Itachi and Kisame’s target. 

A plan years in the making suddenly changing direction. A plan that didn’t seem to have room for  _Him_.

How could his religion that relied on slaughter fit within Pein’s grand scheme of controlled peace? Was the very existence of Jashinism a threat?

Kakuzu, lost in thoughts, knew that the Nine-Tails was not needed yet. Why were they tasked with bringing back the strongest tailed beast right after exhausting themselves with a demanding extraction jutsu? He knew that they were movable pieces but they started to look like mere sacrificial pawns. He was certain of it.

Why else would Pein send them after the Nine-Tails so soon and in their current states when the other eights needed to be sealed before? 

Pein had made it known plenty of times that he was tired of their constant disobedience. Kakuzu and Hidan would often stray from their missions with bounties and rituals, created problems and were overall difficult to control. They were the Akatsuki’s most chaotic duo and as useful as they could be, maybe they weren’t truly worth the hassle.

Could sending them at their lowest to face one of the most formidable creatures in this world, which also happened to be protected by the strongest shinobi village, be a zero-loss scenario in Pein’s mind? Get rid of the unruly immortals or bring in the Nine-Tails, both would count as wins.

Doubts and unfocused minds kept them silent for hours. As the sky was darkening and their destination still more than half a day away, Hidan broke the silence.

“Oi! Do we camp here for the night? I’m fucking tired and like, we could rest and… I don’t know. Fuck it, whatever.” he wasn’t even able to form a proper complain, couldn’t even make his usual smartass comments. He’s here but also half a world away. Mind split between Back Then and Now and Eventually.

Hidan was right; they needed to rest and the way it was asked betrayed his mental state. Kakuzu felt that it mirrored his own.

“Hnm, sure.” Kakuzu wasn’t fully present either after all.

There wasn’t many options for shelter in this wasteland of rocks and dead trees. Settling down where they currently stood was as good an option as trying to find a proper camping spot.

During the nights, they’d take turns to stay on guard while the other slept. Kakuzu would always take the first shift along with one of his masked creatures and Hidan would fall asleep nearly as soon as he’d close his eyes. They went on with the same nightly routine. Kakuzu on guard; Hidan laying down to sleep.

But tonight, sleeping wasn’t happening no matter how tired he was. Hidan’s mind needed its _away_  part to be brought back  _here_.

“Kakuzu, have you ever had any faith?” his tone was much calmer than ever and with a hint of something akin to sincerity. For once he didn’t sound like he was instigating a fight.

It had never been like him to be part of a serious two-sided discussion when it came down to religion. Hidan had always just aggressively talked about his faith regardless of people’s interest.

“What - no. I have never known faith. If you were trying to convince me into your religion by preying on past faith, I’m afraid it’s useless.”  

Hidan was used to Kakuzu seeing ulterior motives and hidden manipulations everywhere. He wasn’t taking it personally anymore but this answer still struck a nerve.

“Tch! You can’t be fucking _convinced_ into a religion! When I talk about Jashinism I’m not doing a fucking sales pitch! Converting is about finding the words that match something that’s  _already there_.”

Kakuzu wasn’t expecting a reply like this. His own silence invited Hidan to offer an explanation.

“All the weighting the pros and cons, facts and proofs, it’s all useless garbage when it comes to spirituality.”

Sitting up and meeting Kakuzu’s gaze, Hidan continued “Look, it’s like being a fucked-up mix of  _everything_  and  _nothing_  at the same time and you can’t even look at this mess directly even if you tried. Then you findthe words that, I don’t know… outline the shape of the mess inside? Whatever. Or they fucking turn on the lights and you can see who you are more clearly. Or parts of you at least.”

Hidan paused for a deep breath, thinking  _what the hell_   _am I saying…_ “ _words that outline?”._  He never felt like he was good enough with words. He’d get angry at his own ways of explaining his faith and would preemptively defend it from mockery every time. He guarded himself with insults, kept people from looking too deep by presenting a shallow self.

“Anyways for someone who has four more of himself in there, you’re so fucking dead and empty inside you wouldn’t understand so forget it.”

Kakuzu would not go as far as saying that he had grown fond of him, but Hidan’s immortality meant that he would have a battle partner by his side no matter what devastating jutsu he would release. He didn’t have to care. Something constant and predictable like Hidan’ survival had dug its way into Kakuzu like an anchor.

He didn’t like it at all but this made him feel like he should - for once - meet Hidan halfway there.

“I do believe divinities could exist. What you define as gods.” Kakuzu’s words were like a cold snap for Hidan “I just find no need to elevate those beings to a higher status than my own. I don’t have an  _already there_  that needs to find its matching words, I can see very clearly the mess inside.” 

This was the closest to mutual understanding that they ever got.

Neither of them said anything after this. The normal sleep and silent guard pattern reclaimed its spot.

–*-*-*–

Back then, when Kakuzu would say  _be careful or you’ll get yourself killed,_  Hidan would just laugh it off and ignore the advice.

Now, looking up from the pit and surrounded by rubble, screams and threats betrayed his panic at how Kakuzu might have been right. Maybe  _get yourself killed_  didn’t necessary meant  _actually dying_ after all.

Back then, when Hidan had demanded to be respected as a partner, Kakuzu had laughed it off and mockingly said  _I promise I’ll respect you on my deathbed._

Now, face down in the dirt, broken, he found that he was a man of his words after all.

**Author's Note:**

> gift for dreamingofketchup on Tumblr for the Naruto Secret Santa 2017 event!


End file.
